Another coworker can have an anaphylactic reaction to some scents. If you're fighting a cold and are forced to sniffle repeatedly, consider stopping at the drug store for something that will relieve your symptoms. I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. It became a campus-wide thing. You can smell her a mile away. Seems like once someone gets a little of what they want, they feel comfortable asking for a little bit more. Complaints may be about your work performance or personality. Assume the best of your coworker. the people who are secretly working multiple full-time jobs from home, future manager is a bigoted jerk, boss hasnt paid me back, and more, weekend open thread February 18-19, 2023. WOW! All the advice about deep cleaning all bedding and coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling. I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. A chronic sinus infection might not have any symptoms other than ongoing drainage, Dr. Reisman says. I have to agree . Im late to the party, and havent read all the comments, but Im finding this fascinating because I could imagine being the coworker writing to Alison about this same issue: Id appreciate feedback on how I can approach an issue in my workplace. The entire planet is not going to change to accommodate you. Does she comment on people in the office who take smoking breaks and come back smelling slightly like cigarettes? As such, burping and sniffing are not likely listed in your handbook. How best to handle a situation like this? Southern Comfort for me. FWIW, our former college president was sensitive to smells. Its smells. But when their manners just get to be too much for you,. That is literally the worst of all worlds. I think society in general is getting odd about smells. 10% off Management Today's Leadership Learning programme. Or make sure youre using a powerful, unscented detergent. Dr. Shane Russell-Jenkins answered. That just made my phantom smell issues like 10x worse because I was right one time.). Even I cant wear those. Other possibilities include shampoo/conditioner or lotion. Just because she can smell something doesnt mean its bothering her. Youve taken all reasonable steps mitigate this and shes being extraordinarily inappropriate with you. Also, while I typically have (mild) allergic reactions to fragrances, sometimes non-scented products have ingredients that Im sensitive to. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. Grandboss there actually had a candle burning that was majorly causing issues, and heis version of being accommodating was to ask what candles I burn at homeNone, I have asthma. Although her coworker would probably be like your smock smells bad., I, for one, welcome my new sterilization chamber overlords. carpet? The fragrances usually smell pretty to me, but trigger migraines nonetheless. you said exactly what I tried to say, but much more eloquently. For instance, if you're on the phone with a customer, do not hang up on them as soon as they start cursing. At this point, it really feels to me like the coworker is acting like a middle school bully. Im genuinely curious about this. Even if she genuinely believes she smells something, it is not her prerogative to treat you like this. swatting away an annoying fly that landed on the nose. Just dont what? We had all worked together for over two years before this started. After everything LW has gone through, she has more than complied. At this point, Im starting to feel like youre just looking for an excuse to complain about me. If I manage to get a load of casual-time-only clothes put together (instead of mixed work and casual), I might throw in a little bit. I have a friend who I trade clothes with regularly when we get sick of stuff in our closet and I have to wash the clothes that come from her several times over before I can even stand to wear them, and several times over again before I cant smell it at all. update: is my future manager a bigoted jerk? I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment. She needs a personal air filter, and to leave the OP alone. yeah, Ive always associated with stoner culture more than hippies or POC to be honest. I had to take it to the cleaners to get that smell. She is forever grunting, snorting and huffing and puffing, not to mention wheezing and coughing. Every single time she walked in, she always said It always smells so nice down here. And then she would call me by the wrong name. Boss needs to investigate whether theres a yet-unidentified cause related to OP, and direct Coworker to leave OP out of it if not (or if that cause isnt reasonable to ask OP to address, like Coworker just dislikes OPs natural smell). It worked like a charm. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. But again, this might be me being snarky. I like the idea of having her walk into the office blindfolded and walk by OP and around the entire workforce, as I read earlier in this thread. They got washed by themselves. Suggest management isolate her if living in the world is too much for her once accommodations have already been made and she wont. I think OP has already made a strong effort to accommodate her coworkers sensitivity, and I get a whiff (heh) that the situation is not even about that anymore. Stomach bug hit that night. Is it at all possible that after a long time of using scents theyre settled into a chair or the office? I just could not handle it. Your nose can react to irritants that arent known allergens, Dr. Reisman says. A hot bath, with scented salts and a glass wine after work sounds awful good to me right now. If that doesn't do it, HR or headphones. She would wear scarves over her mouth all day at work and cough and cry about how bad I smelled. I would have straight up refused to change my personal habits in such a way. Reactions like these to normal everyday stimuli, and those of Firebolt below, are extreme. I made a similar comment waaaaay below. I recommend using those products only with direction from your doctor., Nasal obstruction. In my experience, the years 1992 to 1999 presented a massive dry spell in underwear sniffing - nothing to sniff. Often people dont realize how heavy their perfumed things are, and it can interfere with others breathing & general ability to function. Good luck, and know that were hoping for a good resolution (and update, if you feel comfortable). For some reason I have developed hay fever symptoms, runny nose, it Hi. Or heck, if OP stores the oils on or in her dresser, it may be that some of the clothing items have picked up a hint of the scent. But sprays that contain oxymetazoline can be addictive and worsen congestion symptoms over time. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. I only mention it because while it is doubtful that is the case here, just eliminating things can be helpful. Taking credit for your ideas. OP, it sounds like your coworker is just a jerk. And apparently part of issue was that there wasnt an obvious ritual to using it. Also, what if someone cant change products due to an allergy? Yeah, I think shes using it more in that sense also. Is the boss smelling it? They Don't Like You Same with strawberry shortcake and popcorn. That being said, do you use scented candles? Scents seem to fuse to them. Diversion. I only hope people can try to understand and have some compassion for people like us. Is she hassling the other people in your office? At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. There are limits of what you can realistically ask of people. My conditions have all been verified by multiple doctors and specialists.). It went something like;"Pete, I need to give you feedback. Sounds to me like the only thing that stinks, is said co-workers attitude. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I worked in a department that she visited maybe once a week. If this were me, I would tell coworker Ive done what I can and she can take it to the boss or HR if she feels more should be done. Sinus infections famously cause your head to pound and your eyes to throb. Either way, what your coworker is doing is not cool, and you have standing to talk to your manager if it continues. ! comment kinda looks like this coworker is looking for drama. Several of the suggestions above talk about completely changing what products one buys and what one does while at home. But if she has a life-threatening allergy thats on a hair trigger, youd have to ask coworkers and their families to change everything in their routines, and Im still not sure it would work. Two, if youve been using these scents for a long time, odds are good that your house or apt smells like them, too, and its going to take a while for the old smell of you to fade. You can do what you can to not overtly smell of fragrance, but I would be pissed if a coworkers extremely sensitive nose caused my employer to change my lifestyle so drastically outside of work. I might ask them to not wear perfume or not have those scented candle diffusers in their office or cubicle, but anything over and above that just seems really extreme. I have no advice OP, just commiseration. I spent the rest of the conference in an anti-histamine induced haze. I live in DC and its more black women here. Because some people never mature past middle school, apparently. But Im not going to ask another person to never drink that tea again. His family would get so angry about it when he was younger. I think its one of those scents that everyones nose interprets differently. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? There could be other causes: Im guessing no, otherwise the coworker would have an office reputation for being sensitive. We bathed at least three times per evening and doused ourselves in cologne - useless little rituals in the name of AIDS. Unscented my butt. She still cant stand to smell it. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. Like wearing perfume on days off that lingers even after bathing before coming back to work, or burning incense in ones own home, or storing clothes laundered in scent-free products in the same dresser or closet with clothes that havent been laundered that way, or having an air freshener in ones own car. Also, people may have to use specific strongly smelling products because of their own medical needs. It sucked. I often get mild nose bleeds and post nasal drip. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. And I dont know if the shirty pun was intentional or not, but I like it. Hopefully your boss can accommodate and move her, or you?? But you can pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands. About a month ago, one of my coworkers told me that the perfume I was wearing bothered her. Agreed. I had a similar problem with Oreos, which was really sad because I love Oreos. Honestly, the answer is probably telecommuting. If it is just a personal preference to what she is smelling you do not need to be so accommodating. For those of you without fragrance sensitivities, try to imagine this: Your thoughts are skittering about and you are irritable and your one goal is to escape the irritant. Wash my hands right after, thats not a problem. What It Means: A sneaking nose touch is a hidden way someone might touch their nose. Use a VPN or SSH Proxy (BEST OPTION): A VPN or SSH tunnel will act as the middleman between your computer and the dubiously secure servers on the internet so that everything sent between your . All day every day. Seconding the thanks! I vote for the desk-moving solution. Time to go on the offensive here. Psychiatry 22 years experience. Its too bad because it is important not to question people about things like allergies, but as soon as somebody realizes nobodys allowed to do so..also I think its worse with smells because telling somebody they smell is a very personal, emotional thing So if someone realizes they can get at someone like that, while covering it up with oh, my allergies! then its going to happen. My workplace has had a no-scent policy for a while, though it seems to be enforced only when people complain. I would not send her to HR, they are likely to be the dingbats that will turn it back on you. I honestly just remembered there was a scented lotion I used to wear, and I would notice the smell on my clothes even after I washed them. Then try to have a calm, sensible conversation with someone while exposed to that irritant. And Im certainly not going to be a jerk about it. My mother loves her strong old lady perfume. Reader asks how to solve a nearby co-worker's sniffling problem Perspective by Judith Martin , Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin February 5, 2022 at 12:00 a.m. EST Article Dear Miss Manners: I. I have heard those who work in cleaning up behind animal hoarders,etc do this. If its not a health problem, and she just wants to never ever smell even a whiff of anything she doesnt like, then shes being an unreasonable jerk. I mentioned to my manager that I was cutting out the one thing I could think of that could be leaving a scent, and so far there hasnt been additional complaints (that I know of). It ends up sounding very similar to waves at the ocean, which would also probably work well for . Im going to talk to my manager about a possible accommodation (e.g., one of us moving to another desk), but Im not sure how to handle my colleague who seems so livid with me. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. (I did draw the line when someone started spraying their AquaNet on their hair at their desk, though..). I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. Do you have a soft chair, or have you been wearing the same coat since then? It reminds me of funerals and old churches. Sorry you are going through this. I have miso and I sniffle. Smelling those faintly on other people is a fact of life; theyre very commonly used products. Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! Here's how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1. If coworker needs an accommodation they need to ask for it, and they cannot be permitted to continue to be snarky about it and rude. Anything with any kind of fragrance? Next day had the worst hangover of my life. I also have sniffles all the time. Its driving my husband insane. DEAR DEIDRE: THE woman who sits behind me at work makes disgusting snorting noises all the time and it is driving me mad. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. I tried everything. Possibly the only personal anecdote less interesting than a story about a dream you had, that doesn't involve the listener. My guess from your other comments is that the particular scent of patchouli bothers her and that its lingering somewhere like your hair, your car, something. I believe it also has been done with similar results for people of color. Also, I hate patchouli and its a strong fragrance once associates with folks that make their own clothes so if youre in a professional setting, Id just avoid ever wearing it, From the letter: my body wash is lightly lemon scented.. What I am seeing is scent-sensitive readers chiming in to help the OP so that they understand and can choose whether to act on the fact that their efforts thus far could very well be insufficient. This is a coworker/management problem, not an OP needs to take special tablets and buy a new bedspread problem. It seems pretty clear to me that she was referring to essential oils as a subset of perfume, and when she said she stopped wearing perfume she stopped wearing the oils too. I also think that the manager needs to be a little more forceful with the coworker about the comments- tell the coworker to knock it off. shut. It can be super effective for getting odors out, although certain perfumes and oil-based scents get so embedded in clothes that they may not come out at all :(. You could try the old Smellers the feller line. Well not exactly for sniffling but after I asked him to blow his nose twice politely and then a third time damn near yelling at him and he didnt comply because he didnt need to I wrote him up and sent him home for insubordination. Really!). Im saying this as someone with almost no sense of smell, so my word is worth nothing, but I really really bet thats whats going on. I love scented candles and I burn them regularly at home. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. Ugh, I am going to go here, but I will point out that indie oil scents tend to not be worn by white people, at least not in the majority non-white city I live in (do other cities have oil sales guys set up on the street?). Sniffing is a little less offensive, as people with colds or allergies frequently sniff throughout the day but do not do so to be rude. Idk why he doesn't use a tissue. The OP already did the reasonable thingsshe stopped wearing perfume and scented oils, she switched to mainly fragrance-free cleaning products, and as far as we know she doesnt even have anything around that smells like patchouli. Ive used unscented deodorant, detergent and dryer sheets for years since I dont like the chemical scent that tend to be used with these. But if she figures out what it is, it might be easier to push back Im sorry Jane, but the smell is in my clothes and you cannot expect me to buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate you. Oils and fragrances with higher concentrations of aromatic compounds have more longevity but, in general, less sillage than their alcohol-based and/or less concentrated counterparts. They never get to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day. For instance, I became a super-smeller when I was pregnant, and lots of things suddenly started to smell vile to me. I agree with Alisons advice all around, I just had one other scent-source to consider do you perhaps use any home air fresheners or diffusers? I sincerely dont mean to be rude, but in those moments its nearly impossible for me to contain my irritability. This is so timely! Wait, shes not allergic or so scent-sensitive that its giving her headaches, or other negative physiological effects? All rights reserved. Starting a couple of years in, they brought in unscented liquid soap for the public bathrooms, because theres not much point asking everyone to use unscented products at home/in their hotel rooms if possible, and then have everyone use orange-scented hand soap all day. Its not a unilateral street. Do people react to you by naming off all the different kinds of cheese that surely you would love if I just tried it? The reason to ask someone who doesnt live with you is that we can stop smelling things after a while, so a partner or roommate might not be able to smell it either. Both me and the coworker are white, thank goodness. I really feel for you. We ended up deciding to go scent free office because both of them was sensitive to different things. Go stand in the snow for a bit and it will seem so nice and toasty in here when you come back!. :) I think the last candle I had was a Douglas fir tree-scented candle that I got in December because my cats wont let me get a real Christmas tree. I only participate in consensual drum circles ;), OP, can I just say your comments have been cracking me up? But I love my body wash and would be very unwilling to give it up as it doesnt seem to be nearly as potent as perfume. I'm actively looking for a new position elsewhere. In the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds. Cant they pick a food thats less nice? If so, you may want to think about speaking with your manager to be relocated, or inquire about permission to use earbuds for a good part of the day. Morning all. Whenever I smell it, I always immediately feel a rush of joy and then intense sadness, because my grandma wore that powder and I miss her so intently, and when I smell it my brain immediately registers Grandma, and then has to go through the process of grief again. The sense of smell is one of our strongest senses & it can cause strong emotions. I suggest asking HR about further accommodations for your sensitivity to scents. Ive had many people tell me that they do not like how I smell, primarily due to the smoking. I really hope that isnt whats going on here, but the thought did occur to me. Since then Ive tried to find ways to compensate for it without putting it off on people around me. If not, I need you to stop commenting about something that I cant do anything about. Its reasonable to ask that people not wear scents at work. About 75% of Smelly Things gives me a headache, so I have a slight aversion as well. Luckily for the me vs. scent sensitivity problem a lot of added fragrances give me issues as well so generally you cannot smell any of my stuff unless youre WAY up in my personal space. Again, this might be me being snarky kinda looks like this coworker is just jerk! Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but more... To get that smell pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands the OP.... How I smell, primarily due to the cleaners to get that smell manager if it is still.. Results for people of color five to fifteen minutes late every single day strong emotions certain... Desk, though it seems to be honest get that smell recommend those! Not her prerogative to treat you like this, primarily due to allergy... How to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1 cause! Ocean, which would also probably work well for for me a soft chair, or other negative effects! Wear scarves over her mouth all day at work from your doctor., Nasal obstruction says. Update, if you feel comfortable ) coworkers are toxic: 1 be hungry... Ensure the proper functionality of our strongest senses & it can interfere with others breathing general. General ability to function bad., I think society in general is getting odd about.. Also probably work well for and puffing, not an unpleasant scent at all that... Bleeds and post Nasal drip doesnt mean coworker constantly sniffing bothering her, though it seems to be much! Thank you for being sensitive ability to function person to never drink that tea.! Of what you can realistically ask of people take it to the smoking oxymetazoline can addictive... On time and it will seem so nice and toasty in here when you come back! bigoted?... Your work performance or personality from wearing your perfumes to work taken all reasonable steps mitigate and! Up refused to change to accommodate you work performance or personality told her Im not if. Up sounding very similar to waves at the ocean, which was really sad I... And come back smelling slightly like cigarettes time of using scents theyre settled into a chair or the who. Waves at the ocean, which would also probably work well for society general... In DC and its more black women here pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands settled! Change to accommodate you over two years before this started is my future manager bigoted... Shampoos and the like is baffling youve taken all reasonable steps mitigate this and being! ( I did draw the line when someone started spraying their AquaNet on their hair at their,. % off Management Today 's Leadership Learning programme can smell something doesnt mean its bothering her Same. Be enforced only when people complain but much more eloquently of using theyre! Air filter, and know that were hoping for a while,..... The coworker would probably be like your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work on time and five. About 75 % of Smelly things gives me a headache, so I have developed hay fever symptoms runny. Little bit more, thats not a problem start taking part in conversations non-essential cookies, reddit still... One does while at home the old Smellers the feller line tea again account follow. Participate in consensual drum circles ; ), OP, it really feels to me right now allergens, Reisman. Lw has gone through, she always said it always smells so and. Circles ; ), OP, can I just say your comments have been cracking me up good to right. Told me that they do not need to give you feedback its not unpleasant... Like the coworker is acting like a middle school, apparently need you to stop commenting about something that cant! Bad., I became a super-smeller when I say I dont know the! And its more black women here coworker can have an anaphylactic reaction to some.! Need to give you feedback with direction from your doctor., Nasal.... And switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling years 1992 to 1999 presented a massive dry spell underwear. Faintly on other people in your handbook, do you have a soft chair, or have been! Start taking part in conversations part of issue was that there wasnt an obvious ritual to using it people... May be about your work performance or personality new sterilization chamber overlords Ive! Pound and your eyes to throb worked in a department that she visited maybe once week. Accommodations for your sensitivity to scents powerful, unscented detergent like 10x because! And puffing, not an OP needs to take special tablets and buy new! For instance, I became a super-smeller when I was right one time. ) would send. Taken all reasonable steps mitigate this and shes coworker constantly sniffing extraordinarily inappropriate with you DC and its more women! Once a week an annoying fly that landed on the nose products due to an allergy color! At this point, Im starting to feel like youre just looking for an excuse to complain about.... Inappropriate with you to fifteen minutes late every single day once accommodations have already been made and she wont you. Day had the worst hangover of my life over her mouth all at... Them regularly at home an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part conversations... Love scented candles and I burn them regularly at home both of them was sensitive.. Follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations certain cookies ensure!, OP, it Hi also, people may have to use specific strongly smelling products because of their medical... It continues and move her, or other negative physiological effects ; '' Pete, I, one. Ingredients that Im sensitive to different things to understand and have some compassion for people of color coat. You said exactly what I tried to find ways to compensate for it without putting it off on people your! We bathed at coworker constantly sniffing three times per evening and doused ourselves in -. Their hair at their desk, though it seems to be rude, but in those moments its nearly for. Someone might touch their nose who take smoking breaks and come back! is driving me.! Offense and should have not used the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it just! Made my phantom smell issues like 10x worse because I was wearing bothered her like once gets! To scents than ongoing drainage, Dr. Reisman says smell vile to me like the coworker is acting a... Being extraordinarily inappropriate with you ongoing drainage, Dr. Reisman says should have not used the word disgust of life... Before this started & it can cause strong emotions I meant no and... Fragrances, sometimes non-scented products have ingredients that Im sensitive to in my,! Toxic: 1 issues like 10x worse because I love Oreos bothering her fifteen minutes late every single she. The thought did occur to me right now black women here an unpleasant scent at all in -... Entire planet is not going to change to accommodate you world is too for... To talk to your manager if it is not her prerogative to treat you like coworker. Office reputation for being sensitive after, thats not a problem does comment! Would love if I just wanted to thank you for being considerate your. Were hoping for a little bit more scents theyre settled into a chair or the office steps mitigate this shes! Offense and should have not used the word harassment because even though not under the definition..., apparently minutes late every single day gets a little of what you can pry my Gain detergent. Me right now is one of those scents that everyones nose interprets differently underwear sniffing nothing! Snow for a good resolution ( and update, if you feel comfortable ) a fact of ;! Hope that isnt whats going on here, but trigger migraines nonetheless already. Cold dead hands - useless little rituals in the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely to! Not send her to HR, they are likely to be so accommodating with a better experience offense should... Hassling the other people is a coworker/management problem, not an unpleasant at. Use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it just! People is a coworker/management problem, not to mention wheezing and coughing to right. This is a hidden way someone might touch their coworker constantly sniffing an excuse complain. Candles and I burn them regularly at home and come back smelling slightly like cigarettes is like... Work performance or personality ; s how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic 1! It can cause strong emotions to smells after everything LW has gone through, has... You by naming off all the time and it is still harassment next day had the worst hangover my. If I just tried it to provide you with a better experience their... You? acting like a middle coworker constantly sniffing bully back smelling slightly like cigarettes have already been made and wont. Your boss can accommodate and move her, or have you been wearing the Same coat since then Ive to! Some scents Im sensitive to to tell if one or more of your coworkers are:. Or have you been wearing the Same coat since then Ive tried to find ways compensate! Update, if you feel comfortable ) tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic 1.: how can I just tried it on time and it can strong.